Sports Guy goes Curious Guy with Rounders Guys, Part Deux:
Simmons: After Mike McD’s wet blanket girlfriend from hell moved out on him — and thank God, you guys should have had her get run over by a cab on her way out — and he was hanging out in his empty apartment watching the old Johnny Chan footage and feeling sorry for himself, the smoking-hot Russian chick (played by Famke Janssen, who should be much more famous than she is) comes over to collect some money, gives him a break on the figure, flirts with him, shoves her tongue down his throat … and Mike McD basically gives her the Heisman.
What the hell? Seriously, what the hell?… Please explain yourselves. Part of me will never forgive either of you for this.
Koppelman and Levien: We plead guilty. Biggest mistake of the film, probably of our entire career (please leave out the requisite “Walking Tall” joke, thank you) if only because we were on set and would’ve gotten to gawk at it for eight hours.
I literally started twitching when I read this. Yes, the scene as-is represents a colossal plot blunder and an sham against heterosexual masculinity. NO GUY REFUSES A FREE PASS FROM A BOND GIRL. But to have it in this perspective… knowing that for your entire life onward, even on your deathbed, the thought runs through your head constantly:
Awww, hell, I could have seen Famke Janssen naked and fucking for a whole day, but I blew it.
(*spasm*)
Holy painful regret, Batman! And this regarding a woman who, via way of a sadomasochistic fantasies involving a hot grille, was responsible for the defiling of many a tube sock back in 1995. (Ummm, I heard someone talking about it once. I wouldn’t know anything about that.)
Oh, that’s just horrible. Only a cruel God would let such things happen. (or not happen)