Spittoon: Good food, bad costumes, and terrible music festivals
CMJ - Aside from the irritation of something that sounds like the call letters to a country radio station, I’ve just about had it with the CMJ infestation. Or, more appropriately, I like the idea of CMJ but I’ve just about had it with the self-importance of the indie music scene. ESPECIALLY the bloggers - they rival political bloggers and tech bloggers in the “no world exists outside of what we do” category. A whole week of bands and music flooding the NYC scene? How about a steady stream of great, accessible music throughout the year? Is that so fucking hard?
(when I say “accessible”, I mean that I don’t want to go through a ton of bullshit to get into your show. Unfortunately, all major music venues are too small for their bands’ audiences by a factor of 5, which leads to overinflated ticket prices, immediate sellouts and obnoxious hype over bands I’ll never get to see. Thanks, guys. You’re all so cool for being so hard to see live. Keep playing that one single that everyone likes before the bloggers decide that you’re yesterday’s shit-stained embarrassment of a band.)
Malcolm Gladwell - handsome.
And segue…
Women and Halloween Costumes - listen, ladies. I really feel uncomfortable being a misogynist, but I’m very strongly a realist and an observant individual, and you’re making me quite conflicted. When 90% of you come out on Halloween dressed in some slutty costume, you’re not just lacking creativity. It goes much further than that. Indeed, you are making a mockery of yourselves and of feminism through your clumsy mixed messages. A slutty costume is a very clear indicator that you’re looking for sex, or that you’re obsessed with sex, or that you want everyone in the room to think about sex for some reason. But many of you aren’t really trying to do that - in fact, all the men in the world are supposed to pretend that we’re NOT thinking about sex when we see you wearing so little. Listen, babes: if you wear a dress that allows me to clearly stare at your vagina, then the logical conclusion is that I want to have sex with that vagina - or at least a handjob in the bathroom while I’m thinking about it. This is non-negotiable; most men, Doogie Howser excluded, are biologically born to respond in this manner. But most women who do this have no intentions of taking responsibility for the consequences of their actions. Shit, us men are not even allowed to discuss masturbation in polite company, never mind whip it out and offer it kindly to strangers. So why should you feel free to elicit that response from men, especially when you’ve brought your investment banker boyfriend with you to the party? That’s very, very lame, and the act of abusing your ladyflowers for attention surely weakens any movement to praise and uphold the sanctity of those ladyflowers. And also, as said earlier, it’s not creative and it’s been done by many girls named “Mary” in the past. Har har. You don’t see any men prancing around on Halloween with their balls hanging out, do you? Next year, come up with some decent ideas like the boys do. (okay, maybe that example just invalidated my whole argument. Eh, fuck it, no one takes me seriously anyway.)
Party Trends - open bars are on the way out. All-you-can-eat sushi at parties is the new black. There’s nothing like the ill-advised consumption of dozens of California rolls, normally worth a kajillion dollars, at a late hour to make you feel like a party king.
Sandwiches - yummy.
Hell’s Kitchen - Recently I’ve been required to do some work in the area during the day, and I was initially apprehensive about the prospect of working in the neighborhood. Specifically, I didn’t look forward to having a shitty lunch every day. But then I got a chance to walk around a bit, and you know what? It’s not bad at all. It’s actually pretty good - you can get some wonderful food in the area for inexpensive prices, and you can get some downright great cheap food too. Plus, there are all kinds of fun and interesting stores in the area, ones that don’t have “Banana” or “Navy” or “Macy” in the title, which sell off-the-beaten-path stuff that is perfect for a tinkerer and creative cheapskate such as myself. But mostly, I’m bowled over by the good cheap food. Suck it, Pax.
(Yes, it is inevitable that I’ll make a run over to the Cafe Duke someday as a self-reward for something done well. But that’ll be my only foray back into the usual Midtown gallery of culinary+budgetary horrors.)
Online Video - A friend of mine went to a concert recently; he recorded some video on his smartphone, akin to dicing a tomato with a spoon. He then put it on YouTube and got a bunch of hits. He was stupified at how many people will seek out video online of unknown (and probably shitty) quality and content. Let’s take that as an indication that we’re not quite there yet with the online video scene. But in the meantime, there’s Wallstrip to keep you entertained. (It’s like Rocketboom, but it’s actually coherent to some degree. Tip for videobloggers, a messy narrative leads to a quickly fleeing audience.)
Celebrity blogs - I’ve subscribed to a few feeds of celebrities who blog - some famous, and some not-so-famous. I won’t even add the links, because I’m bored with all of them. So, umm, thumbs down.
Buying Methamphetamine From Your Gay Hooker Friend - well, I wouldn’t know the slightest clue about such things, but you might want to ask this guy! Now, really, is there anything truly wrong with this in the grand scheme of things? Probably not - a couple of municipal fines and one very confused family, that’s all. However, since we’re talking about evangelicals here, this guy is now officially worse than Hitler. Personally, I think they should keep sexuality and drug use off the pulpit altogether. Any guy who spent the college years of his life in divinity school clearly has nothing useful to say (from experience) about these topics. Plus, the added benefit is that you can accept people for who they are, mistakes and all, rather than forcing everyone to keep secrets in their bullshit religious organizations.
(You all realize that the Bible was created by man, right? Merely inspired by God, but not written directly in His words. If you believe in any sort of Western Big-3 God, you would know that words out of any book should not be used as a target of worship as it would constitute praise of a false God. It’s fodder for discussion and reflection, but not meant to be taken as strict moral code! I know Muslims are having their difficulties catching up to this concept in the 21st century, but Christians should know better by now! Idiots! Stop talking about gay people and abortion, and start thinking about the things that actually need to be fixed in this world.)
Brevity 101 - I failed this course in college, as you can see from the above.